Are You Dating a Child or a Grownup
You are interacting with someone, which means both of you have met each other’s must-haves or early preferences. The conversations are going well, but you find yourself wondering is this person someone you can truly see a future with?
It is a valid question, and one that many singles in their late 20s and beyond often face. So how does one really know if they are the one?
The answer lies in doing two simple things. Simple, yes but they require effort, which is worth investing since this is one of the biggest decisions of your life.
The two things are:
Meeting often
Observation more than conversation
Meeting Often
This is a no-brainer. Meet in person. At andwemet, we recommend having these meetings around an activity rather than sitting across each other in a café or restaurant. Shared activities create a more natural environment to observe, connect, and see how you both handle real-life situations together.
Observation More Than Conversation
This is where the real insight lies. Observation vs conversations in the early stage helps you gauge whether you are getting to know a child or a grownup. And growing up has nothing to do with age. Someone at 30 may be emotionally mature, while another at 40 may still have growing up to do.
Here are a few signs to help you understand the difference.
1. Patience in Getting to Know Each Other
It took you nearly three decades to become who you are today. So expecting someone to understand you in a few weeks is unrealistic. A grownup knows that connection takes time. They stay patient while getting to know you.
2. Secure with Self
A grownup feels secure in who they are. They are not jealous if you are more successful or popular socially. Instead, they encourage you to grow. A childlike mindset, on the other hand, may try to compete, compare, or clamp down on your growth.
3. Respond vs React
In India, we are surrounded by opinions from friends, family, and even well-meaning strangers. A grownup listens, reflects, and then responds. They do not react impulsively. The same applies in relationships. When disagreements come up, a mature person focuses on resolution, not reaction.
4. Letting Go
Two individuals mean two sets of experiences, perspectives, and emotions which means you will not always agree. A grownup accepts that and says, “I agree to disagree,” without sulking or holding grudges.
5. Open to Humor vs Being Hyper-Sensitive
Humor is subjective. It takes time to understand each other’s sense of fun. A grownup knows not to take things too personally and allows lightness to exist in the relationship.
6. Knowing That Life Is Imperfect
A grownup accepts that life and relationships are not perfect. They do not chase perfection; they seek connection. They understand that challenges are part of the process and face them with perspective, not panic.
One More to Add: 7. Accountability
A grownup takes responsibility for their words, actions, and even mistakes. They apologize when wrong, make amends when needed, and do not shift blame. Accountability builds trust, and trust forms the foundation of a lasting relationship.
And a Final Thought
Dating is not about finding perfection; it is about finding maturity. When you meet often and observe deeply, you begin to see whether the person in front of you is emotionally available, grounded, and capable of building a future with you.
At andwemet, we believe that meaningful connections are built by grownups not by age, but by awareness, patience, and emotional maturity.
