Why Dating Has Struggled in India, And How We Can Change It
For years, articles and think pieces have explained why online dating or dating in general has not worked in India. So much so the global brands like Bumble and Hinge have also given up on India. Most point to culture, gender ratios, and technology. But the truth is simpler: Indians have never really learned how to date.
Dating is not just about swiping right or writing a profile. It is about self-awareness, communication, and building relationships. And this is exactly where we fall short.
The Problem With Profiles
One reason often given is that people in India do not write good profiles. That is true. But the deeper reason is that we are not taught to express ourselves. We grow up focusing on grades and careers, not on how to share our values, desires, or personalities.
Learning to communicate better — both online and offline — is the first step to changing the dating experience.
Gender Ratios: Myth vs Reality
Many reports highlight that there are far more men than women on dating apps. On andwemet, however, we have consistently seen balance. At times, we have even had more women than men in the community.
The issue is not numbers. The issue is how people approach dating.
Indians Do Not Know How to Date
This is the core.
The word dating is misunderstood and often reduced to casual sex.
Being in love before marriage is still seen by many as a lack of values.
Past relationships, breakups, or not being a virgin are hidden as taboos.
Families rarely talk about intimacy — physical, emotional, or financial.
We are told not to talk to strangers of the opposite gender, but then are married off to one and expected to “figure it out.” No wonder dating feels unfamiliar and even unsafe.
Online Dating and Its Stigma
In India, online dating is often seen as a last resort. People proudly say, “Thankfully I didn’t have to go online to find someone.” Those who did meet online often hide how they met.
Parents, meanwhile, have no issue creating a profile for their child on a matrimonial site — because they hold the control. But when their child takes that step themselves on a dating app, it becomes unacceptable.
This double standard reflects how misunderstood dating still is in India.
Arranged vs Love Marriage: A False Divide
The truth is, all relationships are arranged — whether by family, friends, or ourselves. The idea that arranged marriage is superior to love marriage keeps people from owning their choices.
Instead of clinging to this divide, we need to normalize dating as part of the process of finding the right partner - irrespective of how one is introduced.
Why Learning to Date Matters
Online dating is here to stay, especially as India moves toward more nuclear families. But success will only come when singles learn how to date.
That means:
Investing in self-reflection.
Learning to communicate openly.
Accepting that intimacy — emotional, physical, financial — is part of a relationship.
Dating in India can succeed if we are willing to unlearn taboos and build healthier ways to connect. If you have read till here - then here is the last read - be aware about 3 stages of dating - from getting to know to dating to exclusivity.
Online dating has not failed because we, as a society, never learned how to date. The good news is — it can be learned. When singles are ready to invest in guidance, reflect on themselves, and communicate with honesty, the dating story in India will look very different.
