Dating With Intent in India: What 9,000+ Singles Revealed About Finding a Committed Relationship
Dating in India today isn’t short on intent.
What it is short on is alignment between desire and participation.
Over the last 12 months, we studied behavioural patterns of 9,000+ Indian singles aged 28, 29, 30 and beyond who joined andwemet looking for a committed relationship.
What we found challenges many popular assumptions about modern dating.
This write up shares data-backed insights into dating with intent in India, what’s causing dating exhaustion, and what actually helps singles find their person.
What Dating With Intent Really Means
At andwemet, a committed relationship includes marriage, live-in partnerships, or long-term companionship.
However, barring 1%, almost all singles ultimately want to get married.
This matters because it shows that hesitation in dating is not about avoiding commitment — it’s about how people approach the process.
Interestingly, 70% of singles are open to a live-in arrangement, with their parents’ knowledge, before marriage.
This reflects a growing shift among Indian singles toward compatibility-first relationships, while still valuing family transparency.
The Hidden Barrier: Fear, Not Lack of Options
Nearly 90% of singles expressed fear about entering a relationship.
This fear isn’t irrational. It comes from:
past emotional disappointment
fear of repeating mistakes
uncertainty about choosing right
For Indian singles seeking a committed relationship, dating with intent requires clarity, consistency, and ownership of the process - not rushing timelines.
This is why dating guidance focuses on how to date better.
It is not therapy. It is skill-building, perspective correction, and decision clarity.
How Indian Singles Are Actually Dating
Some behavioural patterns stood out clearly:
Both men and women initiate introductions
In many cases, women initiate more frequently than men.Yet only 10% are clear about early filters -
Must-Haves vs Deal Breakers vs Pet Peeves
This lack of clarity leads to mismatched expectations, emotional fatigue, and avoidable disappointment.
Dating exhaustion often begins before the first meeting.
Geography: Where Relationships Are Forming
While most singles come from Bangalore, Delhi, and Mumbai,
more couples formed from Chennai, Indore, Ahmedabad, and Pune.
City size mattered less than:
emotional availability
consistent effort
clarity of intent
This reinforces a key insight: dating outcomes are behaviour-driven, not location-driven.
Why Dating Feels Exhausting for Many Singles
Several recurring friction points emerged:
80% want to be found rather than actively search
80% blame dating systems instead of reflecting on their own approach
80% say they are too busy, yet expect the other person to make the effort
These contradictions slow momentum and quietly extend the search.
Wanting a relationship without participating in the process creates frustration — not results.
What’s Actually Working (The Positives)
Despite the challenges, there are strong indicators of progress:
Ghosting is as low as 10% on andwemet
20% of singles invested in dating guidance
160 singles found their person with us in the last 12 months
When intent is paired with effort and clarity, outcomes improve — consistently.
The Real Takeaway
Dating exhaustion doesn’t come from lack of options.
It comes from unclear filters, inconsistent effort, and misplaced expectations.
For Indian singles looking for a committed relationship, dating with intent means:
investing time, not just hope
choosing clarity over assumptions
participating, not waiting to be chosen
At andwemet, we’re not here to rush marriages.
We’re here to help singles date consciously, choose better, and build relationships that last.
