In any serious search for a life partner, the introduction is not a formality. It is not a ritual. It is not a declaration.
It is a beginning.
Over time, we have observed something interesting: many introductions are written with emotional certainty instead of grounded curiosity. And while they often get accepted, they also create unnecessary hope, expectation, and eventually exhaustion.
Here I share about how to send an introduction the right way so you protect your energy, think clearly, and search consciously.
Why Introductions Go Wrong
Most people do not realise how quickly the mind moves.
You read a profile.
You resonate with a few lines.
You imagine alignment.
You feel hopeful.
And then you write something emotionally charged like:
“I feel we could be a great match.”
“Your profile deeply resonated with me.”
“I already feel a connection.”
The problem?
You are connecting with words — not yet the person.
Words can create emotional momentum before reality has had a chance to enter the room.
What an Introduction Is (And What It Is Not)
An introduction is:
A signal of interest
A sign of curiosity
An invitation to explore
An introduction is NOT:
A compatibility verdict
A projection of future potential
An emotional investment
Compatibility is discovered in conversation — not assumed in reading.
The Healthiest Mindset Before You Write
Before sending an introduction, ask yourself:
Am I curious or am I already attached to an outcome?
Am I responding to who they are or to who I imagine them to be?
Am I writing from clarity or from hope?
The goal is not to suppress emotion.
The goal is to pace it.When pacing is right, disillusionment reduces.
The Right Way to Write an Introduction
Here are three grounded approaches that work:
1. Refer to Something Specific
Pick one line from their profile and engage with it.
Example:
“I noticed you value spending time with family. What does that look like for you?”
This shows:
You read thoughtfully
You are attentive
You are interested
Specificity signals sincerity.
2. Share a Relevant Reflection
Instead of declaring compatibility, share context.
Example:
“You mentioned preferring meaningful conversations over large gatherings I’ve realised I value that too. I will be curious to learn what kind of conversations energise you?”
This creates dialogue, not assumption.
3. Keep It Simple and Clear
You do not need intensity to be genuine.
Sometimes this is enough:
“I found your profile thoughtful and would like to explore a conversation.”
No drama. No projection. No pressure.
Why Emotional Introductions Feel Good But Backfire
Emotional language creates immediate connection in the mind.
But here’s what often happens:
The introduction is accepted
A few conversations happen
Reality does not match imagination
Disappointment sets in
Dating feels exhausting
The issue is not rejection.
The issue is premature attachment.
When your words run ahead of your experience, your emotions follow them.
Curiosity Is Stronger Than Certainty
Certainty feels powerful.
But in early stages, curiosity is healthier.
Curiosity:
Protects emotional energy
Keeps expectations balanced
Allows compatibility to reveal itself naturally
A grounded introduction reduces burnout in the search process.
This is what I have observed
We have seen hundreds of introductions. We have also seen what sustains people long-term in their search.
Those who pace themselves.
Those who stay curious.
Those who understand that a profile is a glimpse not a guarantee.
Dating fatigue does not come from meeting the wrong people.
It often comes from attaching too quickly to the right words.
Please remember
When you send an introduction, you are not proving compatibility.
You are opening a door.
Open it gently.
Step in slowly.
Search consciously.
Your energy deserves that.
Wishing you the best in your search on andwemet or otherwise - on other platforms or introduced by parents/ friends/ social networks. In case need support or guidance - lets connect.
