Why You Should Articulate Your Must-Haves in Your Dating Profile
When you write your dating profile, it's tempting to share everything about yourself and then see who shows up. But including your must-haves in your description does more than just fill space. It brings clarity for you and clarity for anyone reading your profile. And that clarity helps shield you from dating burnout.
What Are Must-Haves (vs. Dealbreakers)?
Must-Haves are your early filters, those few criteria you look for in someone before you even decide to message.
Dealbreakers (non-negotiables) are deeper values you discover in time, things you can’t compromise on for a long-term partnership.
Together, they help you distinguish who to try with versus who to stay with.
Why Clarity on Must-Haves Matters
You filter earlier
When you know your must-haves, you can skip conversations with people who don’t meet even the basic criteria. That saves time, energy, and emotional bandwidth.Better first conversations
Someone reading your profile can see, from the start, whether they match key filters. That leads to more aligned first chats, not random mismatches.Less dating exhaustion
Endless swiping, messaging, ghosting, all become less draining when you waste fewer cycles on mismatches. Clarity makes your dating more intentional.You test dealbreakers more quickly
Once a must-have is passed, you can move to in-person meetings or deeper conversations to see whether dealbreakers or long-term values align.Flexibility built in
Know that must-haves don’t have to be locked in forever. Many people shift or even override a must-have when someone strong enough comes along.
Sample Must-Haves vs Dealbreakers
Examples of Must-Haves:
• Open to living with parents or not
• Wants children (or does not)
• Non-smoker
• Their height
• Income matching yours / lesser than you make etcExamples of Dealbreakers / Long-term values:
• Honesty, integrity, emotional safety
• Shared values around money, religion, life goals
• Approach to conflict & communication
• How much autonomy vs closeness you expect
• Generosity of spirit, kindness to others
More Than Profile – Push for Real Conversations
A request from us to you:
Go beyond the profile and texting.
Speak to each other (voice or video) before meeting, see the energy in that exchange.
Then meet, if you can, to learn about the person.
As you invest time in meeting people, here’s something to remind yourself:
Feel good about yourself before you invest in dating.
Don’t expect instant attraction—especially later in life, chemistry often builds over time.
Leave past wounds behind when you meet someone new, start fresh.
Focus on what is working rather than counting flaws at first glance.
Be prepared: you’ll meet all kinds of people, some kind, some careless, some ghosters.
If a connection doesn’t work, it’s not rejection—it’s a mismatch between two people.
Finding your person in your late 20s, 30s, or beyond may mean meeting many people before you find the one.
How to Integrate This Into Your Dating Profile in andwemet's Must-Have section
Use clear, positive language (“I want someone who …”, “I value …”).
Do not list too many limit to 3–5 strong, distinct must-haves.
Leave room for curiosity: your profile shouldn’t exhaust every detail.
By taking the time to define your must-haves, you’re not just writing a list , you’re actively creating clarity for yourself and for anyone reading your profile. This clarity reduces random, mismatched conversations, prevents emotional fatigue, and helps you focus on connections that truly matter.
Think of it as one small but essential activity in your dating journey: define your must-haves, share them thoughtfully in your profile, and let them guide your first chats and meetings. Doing this consistently will save you time, energy, and emotional bandwidth, cutting down dating exhaustion significantly.
Wishing you the best.
Team andwemet
