Don’t Mistake Validation for Genuine Interest

Attraction vs. Reality: Spotting the Signs of Disinterest

When we’re attracted to someone, it’s easy to overlook certain signs because we’re hopeful they might be 'the one.' We may dismiss warning signs or red flags, like inconsistent communication or vague intentions, convincing ourselves they’re just busy or cautious. You might be enjoying the validation and attention without realizing that the other person may not be genuinely investing in the connection. Instead, they could be viewing you more as a pen pal or a friend rather than pursuing a real romantic relationship.

Here are 3 easy signs to consider as you are getting to know someone

1. If you’re spending a substantial amount of time texting, sending voice notes, or having voice and video calls to discuss life, your present, your past and learn about each other, yet they avoid making plans to meet despite you bringing it up, it’s time to reflect and question the investment you’re making.

2. When living in different cities, if you’re the one covering all the travel and stay expenses to meet, it’s important to reflect on the other person’s level of seriousness. Ideally, you should meet in a neutral city and book separate accommodations to ensure mutual effort and interest. Alternatively, if you travel to their city, they should share some of the costs to reflect their commitment to the effort being made.

3. If they play hot and cold, initially excited about spending hours chatting or on calls, and then grow distant after you’ve shared personal details about your life, it’s a cause to reflect or call it a red flag. Their initial engagement may have been driven by convenience, giving you a false sense of interest. To avoid this, we recommend limiting interactions to 15 minutes until you’ve met in person a few times (if in the same city). Keep conversations light and fun—focus more on observations rather than deep discussions until a real connection is established.
   
   Lastly stay focused on your must-haves. While finding their person may come easy to some, it may not be so in your case which means you may have to take quite a few chances till you get to meet your person.
   
   Put yourself out there, stay focused but be conscious, learn to differentiate between Validation and Genuine Interest.

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