Read why our founder is building andwemet: A story of rejection and redefining love.

Building andwemet: A story of rejection and redefining love

Every Thursday evening, I carve out time to meet singles, or their well-meaning family and friends to address their curiosity about andwemet. In one of the latest session I was asked, “Why are you building andwemet?” I told them my story, and it made me realise: I’ve never shared this publicly. So, for the curious minds out there, here’s the 'why behind andwemet'.

Two pivotal moments in my life sparked the idea for andwemet. As I dug deeper into these experiences, I knew I had to build a slow, conscious and a thinking space which is required to make an important life decision. So here we go-

Incident #1: The “Ladki Kaali Hai” Chronicles

Let’s rewind to my late teens and early 20s. Picture this: a traditional Indian setup where families come over for tea and snacks to “see” prospective brides. Yes, I was that girl. From the age of 19 to 26, families would visit our home, sans the groom-to-be (because, apparently, the boy’s presence wasn’t necessary for such critical decisions). They’d sip chai, make small talk, and leave. A day or two later, the verdict would arrive: “Ladki kaali hai” (The girl is dark-skinned).

Oh, yes, I was dark-skinned and still am. My father was dark-skinned too, and I spent my childhood outdoors, playing sports and soaking up the sun. But apparently, my complexion made me “not good enough” for their family. To this day, I haven’t figured out how society defines beauty, but hey, that’s their loss, not mine. And it was a family decision to put a break on this search for 'the groom'.

But by then this experience chipped away at my confidence. I felt insecure, vulnerable, and guilty for “letting down” my parents.

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t at fault. The fault lay with a shallow society that measured my worth based on the color of my skin.

Incident #2: The “Fossil” Phase

Fast forward a decade. It took me 10 years to rebuild my self-esteem and realize, “Hey, I’m awesome!” By the time I hit 36, I felt ready to find someone special. I shared this with my mom and her lovely Punjabi friends, asking them to keep an eye out for potential matches.

Their response? “Hun tune shaadi karni hai, ees umar wich?” (You want to get married at this age?).

For context, my mom and her friends were first-time moms by 22 or 23. So, to them, I was practically a fossil at 36 :). Meanwhile, I had just completed my first half-marathon and was feeling on top of the world. But according to them, I had “missed the bus" - go figure :).

While, I found my person a couple of years later, but these two incidents stayed with me. Being rejected for my skin color and then being told I was “too old” to find love left a lasting impact. I realized how society often views singles in their 30s and beyond—as if something is inherently “missing” in their lives, whether they’re single by choice or circumstance.

Enter andwemet: A space for finding your person in no hurry

These experiences led me to build andwemet—a community designed for singles who are 28, 29, in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. It’s a space where the pace is slow, and there’s no upfront validation based on superficial criteria. No one is judged for their skin color, age, or life choices. Instead, it’s about finding your person based on your must-haves—the values, interests, and qualities that truly matter to you.

Why This Matters

I built andwemet because I know what it feels like to be judged for things beyond your control. I know what it’s like to feel “less than” because of societal expectations. And I know how isolating it can be to navigate the world of relationships when you don’t fit the “ideal” mold.

But here’s the thing: Love isn’t about perfection. It’s about finding someone who sees you for who you are and loves you for it. And that’s what andwemet is all about—creating a space where you can be yourself, without fear of judgment or rejection.

So, if you are single in 30s, 40s, 50s, felt like you’ve “missed the bus” or been told you’re “not good enough,” know this: You’re not alone. And you’re definitely not too old, too dark, too anything to find love.

And also welcome to the community. Let andwemet find your person