Managing expectation : Texting vs. Talking

You've connected with a potential match over text. Whether the introduction came through the andwemet singles community, via family, friends, or another source, the first few texts have gone well. They make you smile, you feel a connection, and you're eager to know this person better.

Now, consider what kind of communicator are you, choose one from mentioned

(a) Are you someone who enjoys texting endlessly for weeks, often overlooking the option of a voice call?

or

(b) Or do you use your logical mind to maintain interest through texting while also considering a voice call to deepen the connection?

Reflection:

• For those who select option (a), do you agree that there could be a risk of creating an idealized version of the other person through prolonged texting, one that might not align in reality?

• Don't you think that texting should be kept at minimum till you have met and invest in a few brief voice calls. A voice call no doubt requires a bit more effort in terms of planning, especially with busy schedules. But isn’t it worth prioritizing 7-10 minutes for a voice call—or even a video call—to get a more authentic sense of who you're talking to?

It is important to be aware that things might be going great, but stay practical. Remember, this person may be communicating with others too.

I would also recommend that If you're getting along well and live in the same city, consider suggesting an in-person meeting.

After a few meetings, if you’ve enjoyed all your interactions, express that, and observe how they respond. If you like the person, let them know, and gauge their feelings before you fully invest emotionally as getting a response that doesn't match your expectations can leave you feeling distressed, hurt, and even resentful if you give in a lot.

Having said the above, there’s no right or wrong approach here. The key is knowing what kind of person you are. And If you can keep your emotions in check, option (a) might work for you. However, if you're more emotional, it may be wise to wait until after a few face-to-face meetings before fully investing your time and energy. While it may still hurt, the impact will likely be less.

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