You feel a spark…
The conversations flow, you’re texting nonstop, maybe even calling late into the night. It’s been a few days. You haven’t met yet, but you already feel… connected.
And then, poof.
They pull back. Or worse—they disappear.
Sound familiar?
So, what really went wrong?
Here’s a scenario we often hear:
You were introduced to a promising match. The vibe was great.
You both spent hours chatting. You shared your thoughts, your dreams, your hopes. You even said you see a future.
But… you hadn’t even met yet.
And now, they’re overwhelmed and want to slow down — or end it.
It’s heartbreaking. But it’s also a moment to pause and reflect.
1. You’re still strangers
Even if they say you’re the only one, chances are they’re chatting with others too. It's not betrayal — it’s dating.
So protect your heart until there's real clarity.
No matter how intense the digital bond feels, true connection is built in person. Texts and calls create comfort, but not commitment.
2. The other person might still be exploring.
Even if they say you’re the only one, chances are they’re chatting with others too. It's not betrayal — it’s dating.
So protect your heart until there's real clarity.
3. It’s not what you share — it’s when and how.
There’s nothing wrong with expressing interest. The challenge is in the timing.
Saying “I like you” = lovely.
Saying “I see a future with you” before a first date = pressure.
Or sharing nicknames before you have met, irrespective of the connect you have felt.
4. Time invested ≠ , connection built.
Hours of chatting can feel like closeness. But often, it just means the other person had time.
True compatibility reveals itself slowly, across real-world meetings, gestures, silences, even misunderstandings.
So what’s our advice at andwemet?
✅ Don’t spend more than 5–7 minutes a day texting or calling before you meet.
✅ If all is going great, try and meet in person within 14-21 days of initial interest.
✅ Don’t emotionally invest until you’ve met at least 5–7 times.
Because 95% of the time, oversharing in the ‘getting to know’ stage ends something that could have grown beautifully — if only it had space to breathe.
Let the connection build naturally.
The right person will match your pace, not pressure it.
You may wish to connect with us on getting relationship guidance on this topic and enjoy reading How to date with purpose.
