Recognizing an emotionally unavailable person as you start dating

Having a partner who is emotionally available is vital for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Unfortunately, some individuals struggle with emotional availability, which can lead to frustration and heartbreak for their partners. It is important to be aware of the common signs of an emotionally unavailable partner in order to protect your own emotional well-being and make informed decisions about your relationships. An emotionally unavailable person may exhibit all or any of the mentioned traits:

1) Lacks confidence in oneself, always seeks validation: Many individuals struggle with a lack of confidence in themselves and constantly seek validation from their romantic partners. This pattern can be emotionally exhausting and often leads to unsatisfying relationships.

2) Vulnerability: Maintaining a romantic relationship can be a tiring and exhausting endeavor, especially when vulnerability is involved. When we open ourselves up to another person, we risk being hurt or rejected, which can have a significant impact on the relationship. However, the ability to be vulnerable is crucial for fostering emotional intimacy and strengthening the bond between partners. Lack of self-awareness, empathy usually leads to vulnerability.

3) A people-pleaser: In many romantic relationships, there is a delicate balance between giving and receiving, compromising and asserting boundaries. However, for those who struggle with being a people pleaser, this balance can often be skewed. The inability to confidently express one's own needs and desires, coupled with the fear of upsetting their partner, can have a detrimental impact on a relationship. It can lead to feelings of exhaustion, a lack of self-confidence, and constant internal turmoil.

4) Desiring a relationship but being afraid to make a commitment: Committing to a romantic relationship can be a daunting decision for many individuals. The fear of commitment can stem from various factors, such as overthinking the future, underconfidence in one's ability to maintain a healthy relationship, or a fear of heartbreak or any form of emotional hurt. Some may also worry that committing to a relationship will make them restrict their personal freedom.

5) Unreliable Communication: Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, especially in the early stages of a romantic partnership. However, unreliable and inconsistent communication can quickly become a source of frustration and confusion. It can leave one partner wishing to be in a relationship, yet feeling unsure about where they stand. The behavior of blowing hot and cold, sending mixed signals, and withdrawing at times can be draining for the emotionally available partner.

6) Holding on to their negative experiences: When entering into a new romantic relationship, it is natural to bring along past experiences and emotions. However, for some individuals, this baggage can become an overwhelming burden that hinders their ability to fully embrace and trust their partner. This lack of trust and refusal to let go of negative experiences can manifest in clinginess, neediness, anger, and doubt about the intentions of an emotionally available partner.

It's important to note that these signs are not definitive proof of emotional unavailability, and people can change over time. Additionally, some individuals may exhibit one or two of these behaviors without being emotionally unavailable. Communication is crucial in understanding each other's needs and expectations in the relationship. If you have concerns, consider having an open and honest conversation about your feelings and the dynamics of the relationship. If necessary, seeking professional guidance can also be beneficial.

We touch upon what to expect if you are looking to date someone emotionally unavailable here.