How can I tell if he/she is the right partner for me?
Shalini Singh
Apr 7, 2024
When 2 individuals decide to become exclusive post dating for some time, they both hope that 'the exclusivity' will lead to a committed relationship. While many relationships may have a happy ending, there are many that end up breaking.
Breakups hurt, and a lot. While it's okay to feel bad, even terrible, but one should be conscious to not get caught in blaming the person you were with. Or blame yourself for investing and trusting in the failed relationship. Doing so will lead to self-doubt and vulnerability which is likely to lead into impulsive decisions, like entering a new relationship for self-validation, which should be avoided as it can be emotionally detrimental.
The smart way to manage a breakup is to accept the hurt and sadness that looms around it. Post acceptance, it is important to invest in self-introspection and self-reflection without placing blame on self or the person you were with. Doing this helps you come out stronger and ready for a new relationship if at all.
It is a known fact that for a healthy romantic relationship, it's crucial to have a healthy relationship with oneself. Avoiding the blame game during the breakup allows in achieving this.
You asked: After meeting someone a few times and noticing no major red flags, how can I determine if they're someone I could see spending my life with?
andwemet's response:
Congratulations on connecting with someone you're enjoying getting to know and considering as a potential life partner. It's essential that both of you feel a mutual connection and have had open conversations about your future together. While there's no one-size-fits-all approach to identifying your perfect match, we can offer 8 factors to consider to help you gain clarity on your feelings.
Do you share values and goals? It's not about a perfect match but having alignment in core values and priorities, be it career, lifestyle, etc.
Be aware of the communication style, how easy it is to express yourselves on various topics.
Assess compatibility in different aspects of personality (sexuality being one), interests. While it's okay not to have identical interests, shared ones can strengthen the bond.
Notice how you feel when together. Can you express yourselves and feel heard?
Trust and respect are foundational, but observe if your partner is honest, reliable, and respectful of boundaries.
How are you handling disagreements? Are there anger issues? Is there a willingness to work through conflicts?
Future orientation, while no one can predict the future, you can gauge if they are committed to the relationship's future?
You know how to differentiate between your deal-breakers and pet peeves. Not sharing a love for cinema may be a pet peeve, but rudeness or lack of hygiene could be deal-breakers. Honor your deal-breakers.
We hope considering these factors helps you decide if your potential partner is right for the long haul. Remember to trust your instincts too. If something doesn't feel right or you have lingering doubts, it's important to address them before making any decisions.
In the end, building a lasting relationship means being willing to put in the effort.
Have a question? ask us on info(at)andwemet.com. You may also consider booking a 30 minutes slot with us here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdj-9a1xCvtC9S3NjF4D8VM--3PGgx2hQDVJRIFY79NAw1SnA/viewform?usp=sf_link
