Annoying Habits That Make Bad First Dates
andwemet
Jun 3, 2022
Going on a first date these days is a big ask.
You've got HBO. You have access to Amazon Prime. You have an Oculus Quest and a PlayStation 5. (or at least the cool people do). So you want more than overpriced cocktails and lousy conversation when you dress up and leave your house.
But we must also be willing to contribute our own efforts. We’ve compiled a list of some of the most aggravating first-date gaffes, and while this isn't an entire list, it's a good place to start when we need to double-check ourselves:
1. Not enough information...
...on yourself.
On a first date, most people strive for "suave," "sophisticated," and "mystery." It is ineffective. It just seems distant, and it leads to awkward silences as you both try to think of something else to talk about.
When you talk about your FEARS, your DUMB moments, your CRAZY experiences, and your WEIRD ideas on Robert Pattinson in the next Batman film (as long as they're within reason...), everyone gets along better.
Although over-sharing is a serious problem, it's more vital to let others know who you are than hiding behind pleasantries and one-word responses.
2. Self-confidence
When we're attempting to impress someone, it's easy to brag.
It's easy to become fixated on a wrestling match, but not the seductive sort, if you're a career-driven individual. Rather, it's a fight over who has the more important, great, demanding, high-status job, or who has travelled the most, or how many accomplishments you've crossed off your life bucket list...
In other words, we can come across as arrogant jerks.
It's great to like your work. It's fine to be enthusiastic. It's not cool to turn your chat into a one-sided self-promotional monologue as though you're desperately trying to land a job on LinkedIn.
Allow your accomplishments to shine through in conversation, and while we're at it, avoid the following bad behavior on the list...
3. Ignoring their ability to impress you
You and I both understand that not everyone is outstanding. It's fine that you have high expectations. But if you like someone and they impress you, let them know!
"You sound like you're really thoughtful/dedicated/inspiring," "That sweater makes your shoulders look like they're large," "That's such a nice job, it must be great to help people," "You sound like you're really thoughtful/dedicated/inspiring,"
We can express our admiration in a variety of ways, even small ones. People, however, do not. They either wish to appear cool or are too preoccupied with their own problems to communicate their feelings.
4. Discussing how horrible dating is
This one could be the most contentious. Especially considering how much people despise dating these days.
But what about when we're actually on a date? It's time to put our reservations about Tinder/Bumble/Hinge to rest. Yes, we've all had bad dating experiences. Yes, it's demoralizing to swipe continuously only to be ignored after two interactions. However, there's no reason why someone in 2022 needs to hear why men, women, or dating sucks – it always comes out as bitter and jaded.
If we're going to spend time with someone we could like romantically, we should give ourselves the benefit of displaying who we are when we think the world is at its best.