How to Know If You Are Being Led On When You Start Dating
When you begin dating, it is exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. You know you align on your must-haves / early filters, and you are curious to learn more about each other. But how do you make sure the person you are interacting with is genuinely interested, not just bored, seeking validation, or looking for something casual?
Tips shared here will help, no matter if you were introduced via andwemet, through parents, or friends.
1. Avoid Being in a Hurry
Finding someone special is one of the most important life decisions you can make, especially if you are nearing your 30s or in your 30s and beyond. Whether this is your first relationship or you have had a couple, remind yourself that there is no finish line. Take the time to observe, reflect, and enjoy the process.
2. Build a Friendship First
Even if both of you share the same goal of a committed relationship, invest time in getting to know each other as friends before introducing romance. Start by meeting once a week and gradually increase your interactions. Joining an activity or hobby together can make the process fun while helping you understand their personality, values, and interests.
3. Minimize Texting, Prioritize Video Calls
Texting can give a false sense of intimacy. Invest in video calls more than voice calls as they help build trust and verify authenticity. Plan these calls in the evening or over a weekend lunch. If you face repeated resistance, it may be a sign to question their intentions.
4. Ask to Meet Their Social Circle
After about 9-12 weeks of in-person interaction, if things are going well, ask to be introduced to their friends and allow them to meet yours. Hesitation or refusal could indicate a lack of genuine interest or hidden aspects of their life.
5. Watch for Consistency in Words and Actions
Actions speak louder than words. If their actions frequently contradict what they say or they avoid making future plans with you, it could be a red flag. Consistency is one of the earliest indicators of genuine interest.
6. Notice Availability and Effort
Someone genuinely interested will make time for you without being prompted repeatedly. Pay attention to how much effort they put into communication, planning meetings, and remembering details about you. A lack of effort may indicate disinterest.
7. Trust Your Gut
Your intuition is powerful. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Subtle cues like delayed responses, vague answers, or avoidance of deeper conversations can signal that the other person may not be fully committed.
Starting to date in your late 20s and beyond requires patience, curiosity, and self-awareness. By building a friendship first, prioritizing real interactions, observing consistency, and trusting your instincts, you can protect yourself from being led on and identify genuine interest early.
